Stanford's Assistants
by Luiz4200
Summary: Based on the fancomic "Serendipity" by Deviantart user Orangephoenix6. With Fiddleford McGucket not being available to help him with his dimensional portal, Dr. Stanford Filbrick Pines decides to hire a pair of students from the University of Wisconsin after hearing of their 'Ghost Portal'.
1. The Newspaper Story

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Danny Phantom and the Gravity Falls franchises. They were respectively created by Butch Hartman and Alex Hirsch.**

 **Disclaimer 2: This fic is based on Gravity Falls fancomic "Serendipity", by Deviantart user Orangephoenix6. Used with permission.**

 **Stanford's Assistants**

 **Chapter 1: The Newspaper Story**

Stanford "Ford" Filbrick Pines was in a pickle. He couldn't finish the portal on his own because he didn't take all needed courses back when he was a Backupsmore student and he couldn't ask for his college buddy Fiddleford Hadron McGucket's help because Fiddleford already became a millionaire thanks to his invention and the salesmanship of Ford's own twin Stanley "Stan" Pines. _'Curse you, Stanley.' Ford thought. 'No, Stanford. Don't think like that. Stanley did nothing wrong_ this _time. He merely helped Fiddleford to sell personal computers. It's not his fault computers turned out to be more useful than I expected. I should have known that, just because people wouldn't need something, it didn't mean they wouldn't buy it.'_ Ford's real concern was how to finish his portal. He deemed it a pressing matter because he had to finish it before those college students from the University of Wisconsin completed their so-called "Ghost Portal" _'If they discover the Great Unified Theory of Weirdness before I do, and it should worry me since they went as far as to test a prototype, I'll have to settle for the local anomalies. All that time and money wasted for nothing. Hopefully Fiddleford could get me a job even if I hate the idea of working for my twin brother after what he did to me.'_

The news report that Vladimir Masters, one of the three students working on the Ghost Portal, had to be sent to the hospital because of an accident while testing the prototype was what warned Ford to the fact he had competition at the interdimensional research. Ford reacted so badly he subscribed to a newspaper from Wisconsin to get updates regarding their competition. Ford eventually received the headline that made that decision pay off.

 **UNIVERSITY CUTS PORTAL FUNDS**

The story stated how the accident made the University of Wisconsin worried that other students might suffer the same fate if they continue with their experiments. Personally, Ford believe the electric bill might have had something with their decision. Either way, Ford was so relieved the competition was out of funds he decided it was time for a nap where he hoped he'd get a visit from his 'muse'.

Once again, a decision of his paid off. Stanford Pines received a visit from Bill Cipher. "FORDSY, FORDSY, FORDSY." Bill said. "YOU THINK SMALL. YES, THE FUND CUT WAS A DETERRENT TO THEM BUT ALSO A GREAT OPPORTUNITY FOR US."

"What do you mean, Bill?" Ford asked.

"WITHOUT FUNDS TO BUILD THEIR PORTAL WITH, VLADIMIR MASTERS' LAB PARTNERS WILL HAVE TO WORK FOR YOU, FORDSY." Bill suggested. "IT'S LIKE THAT PRANKSTER FROM THAT CARTOON WITH THE SMARTER THAN AVERAGE BEAR SAYS, IF YOU CAN'T BEAT THEM, JOIN THEM AND _THEN_ BEAT THEM."

 **End chapter.**


	2. Jack and Maddie

**Chapter 2: Jack and Maddie**

Jack Fenton was feeling lonely at his dorm room without his best friend Vlad Masters got hospitalized. His musings were interrupted by a letter from someone he never heard of before. Wondering who this Dr. Stanford Pines was, Jack decided to read the letter. _'I hope it's a new medical doctor trying to cure Vladdy.' He thought._

 _Mr. Jack Fenton_

 _I, Dr. Stanford Filbrick Pines, am conducting an inter-dimensional experiment at Gravity Falls, Oregon and, considering your own desire to develop a dimensional portal, would like to hire your help. The offer also extends to your lab partner(s)._

 _Sincerely,_

 _Dr. Stanford Filbrick Pines, PhD._

 _P.S.: I wish for a quick recover for your friend Vladimir Masters._

Jack decided to talk to his girlfriend Maddie, who told him she received a similar letter. "What do you think, Mads?" Jack eagerly asked.

"I don't know, Jack." She apprehensively answered. "I love the idea of catching and dissecting a ghost as much as you do but, is it wise to interrupt our studies for it?"

"We could talk to the Dean before making a decision." Jack suggested.

At the Dean's office, Jack and Maddie got the answer they wanted. "Normally, I wouldn't trust a Backupsmore graduate other than computer genius Fiddleford McGucket but Stanford Pines has twelve PhD's. Nothing bad even considering the titles were granted by a second-rate college where everyone's welcome." The Dean said and then suggested. "Just make sure he'll tutor you both in classes you'll be missing by going to Oregon."

One day later, Ford received a phone call. "Hello, you've reached Stanford Pines." He said.

" _Dr. Pines? This is Jack Fenton." Jack introduced himself. "I'm calling because of your letter."_

"Are you considering my offer, Mr. Fenton?" Ford hopefully asked.

" _Yes, Dr. Pines." Jack answered. "Both Maddie and I are interested on it. But we're worried about the classes we'll be missing if we go to Gravity Falls to work with you."_

"Work _for_ me, Mr. Fenton." Ford corrected Jack. "As for your educational concerns, I have twelve PhD's and can teach you both."

" _Good, Dr. Pines." Jack commented. "Maddie and I are going as soon as possible. Will you please give me your address?"_

"I'll pick you up at the bus station, Mr. Fenton." Ford offered.

" _With the stuff we're taking with us, we'd better go by car, Dr. Pines." Jack explained._

"My address is on the envelope that you received with my letter, Mr. Fenton." Ford stated.

" _Uh, I tossed it out." Jack sheepishly confessed._

"I live at 618 Gopher Road, Gravity Falls, Oregon." Ford explained.

" _Ok, Dr. Pines." Jack replied. "We're going there. Bye."_

After that conversation was over, Ford decided to write about that conversation on his third journal.

 **I am delighted to note that Jack Fenton called me to accept my job offer not only on his name but also on the name of his remaining lab partner. If only Vladimir Masters recovered. Looking in retrospect, it might have been insensitive on my part not to ask Jack Fenton about him.**

 **Fortunately, the only request they had was a reasonable one. They wanted to minimize the hindrance it'd cause to their education. Now I wonder what's so important to them that they'd bring with them to Gravity Falls. It's probably equipment they believe they cannot perform their experiments without. Of course, one of them is a girl so there could be lots of shoes and dresses as well.**

Meanwhile, Jack and Maddie were fitting stuff inside his car. "My football, my football helmet, my other football stuff, Fenton products, my Stanco laptop…"

"Jack, I've been thinking." Maddie commented.

"About what, Mads?" Jack asked.

"That Stanco Enterprises that made our laptop computers is run by a man named Stan Pines, right?" She asked.

"Right." He answered.

"And Fiddleford McGucket, the genius behind these computers, attended the same University Dr. Pines earned his degrees from, right?" She asked.

"Right." He confirmed.

"Jack, you don't think Dr. Pines is Stan Pines of Stanco Enterprises. Do you?" She asked.

"Nah, it must be a coincidence." Jack dismissed Maddie's theory. "With the respect our Dean has for McGucket, we'd been more encouraged to accept the offer had it come from Stanco Enterprises' bigshots."

"Point taken, Jack." Maddie agreed and then pulled something from her picnic basket. "Have a cookie."

 **End chapter.**


	3. Welcome to Gravity Falls

**Chapter 3: Welcome to Gravity Falls**

Jack and Maddie had finally arrived in Gravity Falls when the former decided to stop at a convenience store named 'Dusk 2 Dawn'. "Are you lost, Jack?" Maddie asked out of worry.

"No, Maddie." Jack happily replied. "I'm just going to buy fudge." He said and then thought about it. "Mmm. Perhaps I'll ask for directions to the nearest gas station."

He entered and an old woman with a nametag reading 'Ma' quickly said "No teenagers allowed here. Leave or I'll call the sheriff."

"I'm not a teenager." Jack corrected her and showed an ID. "I'm a college student."

"Then why are you so far from Wisconsin, Mr. Fenton?" She asked, still not trusting Jack.

"Because Dr. Stanford Pines needs assistants." Jack explained.

"Who?" She asked in confusion.

"Are you talking about that guy from TV?" A female customer asked.

"Stan Pines of Stanco Enterprises?" Jack asked. "No, they just have similar names. Dr. Stanford Pines is a scientist who moved into town a few years ago. He lives at Gopher Road."

"Oh, the mysterious scientist who lives in the forest?" The customer asked. "It's been so long since the last time I heard of him I thought he left town."

"That's different." Ma cheerfully said. "How may I help you, Mr. Fenton?"

"I need fudge!" He answered. "And directions to a gas station."

After solving those problems, Jack and Maddie went to Stanford's cabin. "Who's there?" Ford asked.

"I'm Jack Fenton and this is my girlfriend Maddie." Jack explained. "We're looking for Stanford Pines."

Ford opened the door. "I was expecting you both. I am Dr. Stanford Pines."

"No!" Maddie replied. "You're Stan Pines, founder of Stanco Enterprises."

"Actually, Miss, that is my twin brother Stanley Pines." Ford explained.

' _Yeah, right.' Maddie thought. 'Twin brother.'_

"It must've been hard to grow up under the shadow of such a clever brother." Jack commented.

"No comments." Ford frowned and led them in.

After settling Jack and Maddie into their respective rooms and having them sign their contracts, Ford took them to compare notes.

During the first days of combined research, Maddie finally noticed the real trouble with Ford's plans. "It's no wonder you cannot finish your portal, _Dr._ Pines." Maddie stated. "While Jack and I were only trying to reach the Ghost Zone and it's a potentially feasible goal thanks to ectoplasm samples, a portal powerful enough to reach any dimension in the Multiverse will need a Temporal Displacement Hyperdrive."

"I bet your brother's buddy Fiddleford McGucket could make one." Jack commented.

' _No doubt about that, Jack.' Ford thought._ "Fortunately, it won't be necessary." Ford stated, surprising Maddie. "I know where we can get such a device."

"Impossible!" Maddie exclaimed. "Humanity still isn't able to invent such a device and I don't believe any of us will live long enough to see the day it changes."

Had it been Fiddleford instead of them, Ford wouldn't hesitate before telling about Crash Site Omega but he was worried about how Jack and Maddie would react if they thought he was delusional. They might believe in ghosts but that didn't mean they felt the same about aliens. He eventually decided to tell upon accepting he wouldn't be able to come up with a good cover-up for the time he'd be absent while reclaiming the hyperdrive. "Humanity, perhaps but not aliens." He then explained all about Crash Site Omega until Maddie interrupted him.

"Wait a minute." She demanded. "It's one thing for you to expect us to believe that you and the businessman named Stan Pines are twins instead of the same person but now you're taking things too far. Who would be stupid enough to believe aliens are real?"

"Do you mean they aren't?" Jack sadly asked and Maddie facepalmed.

"Young lady, several people are just as skeptical about ghosts." Ford argued.

"Point taken but I still call your bluff." Maddie told Ford. "If you really found an alien spacecraft, how come the world doesn't know it and you're not famous on your _own_ merit instead of being a multimillionaire's _twin_?"

"I don't want other scientists in Gravity Falls until I discover the Grand Unified Theory of Weirdness." Ford explained. "I wouldn't even hire assistants had I been able to build the portal on my own."

"Sounds like a selfish idea." Maddie commented.

"I agree." Jack added. "Better having some fame and admiration than none at all."

Ford was secretly glad he never told them they didn't need portals to find ghosts in Gravity Falls.

 **End chapter.**


	4. Notes and Journeys

**Author's Note: For the readers who didn't read "Serendipity", it's a fancomic where Stan and Fiddleford chanced upon each other in Palo Alto. There, Fiddleford was losing hope that people would get interested on laptops but Stan said he could sell them 'in a snap' and they made a deal that turned the both of them into millionaires and Stanco Enterprises into 'one of the most successful companies in the country'.**

 **Chapter 4: Notes and Journeys**

Jack and Maddie were discussing their employer. "Maddie, was it just me or does Dr. Pines have six fingers on each hand instead of five?" Jack asked her.

"I wouldn't say anything because I thought I was just seeing things, Jack, but Dr. Pines is a polydactyl." Maddie explained.

"Really?" Jack asked. "He doesn't look like a dinosaur to me."

"Polydactyl is an individual with extra fingers and/or toes, Jack." Maddie explained.

"Are you sure they're the same Stan?" Jack asked. "He doesn't have extra fingers on his TV ads."

"It must be some computer trick." Maddie guessed. "It was the computer business that made him rich."

Meanwhile, Ford was updating his journal.

 **I cannot believe someone would keep mistaking me for my twin brother Stanley. I could understand it back when we were kids and even then it stopped once I showed my hands so people would see I have the extra fingers he doesn't. Anyway, I must admit she made a good insight regarding my portal. Still, I so want to see her face once I show her the alien spaceship.**

 **Jack Fenton**

 **I must reassess my opinion of him. Given he's a college student devoting his life to the supernatural, I expected to find a kindred spirit in him. Instead, he's more like an example of what Stanley could have turned out if he tried to become a scientist instead of a businessman. Could it be he's only involved with this because of his girlfriend?**

Back with Jack and Maddie, they were discussing their choice of gear. Mostly Jack's. "Jack, I understand the need to bring ghost equipment just in case but what about the other stuff?" Maddie asked.

"Come on, Mads." Jack pleaded. "The Fenton Pepto-Bismol can be useful and perhaps Dr. Pines speaks of it to his brother."

"Jack, be him really Stanley Pines' twin or Stanley Pines himself, I'm sure he'd rather keep us from having a source of income that makes us able to continue our own ghost research without him." Maddie commented.

They eventually joined Ford. "Dr. Pines, I have everything I need here!" Jack proudly declared and started ranting about his ghost-related equipment. "Including the Fenton Pepto-Bismol! Look at this. Do you think your brother would mass-market it?"

"Stanley is my brother but I have nothing to do with his business." Ford neutrally answered while thinking _'he'd likely mass-market anything Fiddleford doesn't oppose over nasty side-effects. That Stanley didn't sell any defective products after joining forces with my old friend shows my brother listens to Fiddleford's advice.'_

"Plausible deniability." Maddie muttered.

"So, how come you're not filthy rich like your brother if both of you knew Fiddleford from before he made his fortune?" Jack asked.

"I didn't believe computers would become so popular." Ford answered with a tone that made it clear (even for Jack) he'd rather talk about anything else.

To Ford's relief, even Maddie agreed to a two-day hike up to the entrance of Crash Site Omega. He then showed them his equipment. "I modified this magnet gun from tech previously found at CSO. It's necessary to scramble security."

"Cool!" Jack exclaimed. "May I have one?"

"Sure." Ford replied as he handed Jack a second magnet gun. "No matter what you do, do NOT point it at the sky. I don't want another downed helicopter incident."

Maddie then took the gun away from Jack. "In that case, Jack, you'd better leave that with me." She suggested.

"Okay." Jack reluctantly accepted.

Ford then showed his compass. "The pioneers used to think Gravity Falls was haunted because their compasses went haywire the moment they entered the valley." He explained.

"I knew it!" Jack excitedly exclaimed. "Ghosts!"

"Actually, every compass in a one-hundred-mile radius points to the crash site. Once it spins wildly, you've reached the epicenter." Ford corrected Jack.

"How do you know it's not just some yet to be identified rare mineral?" Maddie asked.

"Because I've been into the spaceship." Ford explained and ignored Maddie's 'yeah, right' comment. He then showed his backpack. "We will be venturing into some dangerous parts of the Uncharted Forest. Brought curses and spells if need for them arises."

 **Day One! – Different Notes**

 **Fortunately, my assistants have had similar exercise regimens like mine! Considering Jack Fenton's large body and the amounts of fudge he ate during his first days as my assistant, I expected him to be winded during the first morning's hike. In spite of this, he still decided to make a snack. Jack's bread crumbs attracted a rather curious creature…**

"What's that?" Maddie asked.

"It's a plaidypus!" Ford exclaimed. "I've heard of them before but I thought they were just a local legend like "The One Clean Truck Stop Bathroom"."

"Ha." Jack laughed. "A clean truck stop bathroom? And people find ghosts hard to believe!"

Ford approached the plaidypus. "I must take note that the plaidypus is very real and," He sniffed the plaidypus. "oddly enough, smells like maple syrup and bacon."

"Bacon?" Jack asked. "Come here my cute little wingless bird."

"Jack, I assume that, like the platypus, this creature is an egg-laying mammal." Maddie assumed as she took a picture of the plaidypus.

Looking around, Ford found a plaid-colored egg. "I would NOT eat these." He commented.

 **End chapter. If some of the lines uttered by Ford seem familiar, it's because you read the defictionalized Journal 3.**


	5. Is There a Creature Beneath the Island?

**Chapter 5: Is There a Creature Beneath the Island?**

While journeying towards Crash Site Omega, Ford and his assistants made 'yet another startling discovery at the lake'. They found a 'boulder' that turned out to be a huge tooth. Ford opened his Journal to write notes over that. He noticed **there was evidence of nerve tissue on the root, plus crushed mollusks, fish bones, and a broken wristwatch at the crown.**

"Nice watch." Jack commented. "I hope whoever lost it swimming at the lake doesn't want it back."

"Jack, I don't think it's going to be a problem." Maddie uneasily replied, not wanting to tell Jack she believed whoever lost that wristwatch was eaten by the creature that lost that tooth.

"Jack, Maddie, we need some pieces for further analysis." Ford stated as he produced a chisel.

"I have dental floss!" Jack proudly declared.

Some dental work later, Ford decided to tell his assistants about a theory he's been puzzling over. "I my past observations, I have noticed that one of the lake's islands seems to be in a different location every morning. My conclusion is that this island is some kind of living creature and the owner of the tooth."

"Can we see it? Can we see it?" Jack eagerly asked.

"Jack, I appreciate your enthusiasm but we will have to return to investigate at a later date." Ford sadly commented. "We have a portal to finish."

Ford led them through a secret pass in the lake. "Jack. Maddie. I must remind the both of you not to tell anybody about this hidden tunnel behind Trembley Falls." Ford told his assistants.

"Cool name!" Jack commented. "Where does it come from?"

"It was named after a village idiot from the time of the founders, Jack." Ford answered while wondering if Jack would do something that'd make the locals rename it as 'Fenton Falls'. "The locals say he fell down the falls on purpose."

"Are you sure nobody else knows about this place, Dr. Pines?" Maddie asked.

"Well, the townsfolk seem wholly unaware of this system of ancient tunnels and caves, which appears to have been dug by a native populace before recorded history." Ford explained.

"From which tribe?" Maddie asked.

"It remains a mystery although their cave paintings may provide answers." Ford answered.

Several hours of tunneling later, Ford's lantern went out. "Don't worry, I've brought the Fenton Flashlight!" Jack proudly exclaimed and then tried to turn it on. "If at least I could find it in this darkness."

The darkness suddenly vanished. "Never mind, Jack." Maddie reassured her boyfriend. "I found mine."

Jack then lit his own Fenton Flashlight. "What do you think, Dr. Pines? Do you think your brother would like to market them?"

"To reiterate, I have no participation in Stanley's businesses." Ford replied.

At this point, Maddie no longer saw sense in bringing up her doubts about Stanley and Stanford Pines being the same person instead of twins but there was still something she wanted to address. "Dr. Pines, won't you relight your Civil War-era lantern?"

Ford hesitated before answering. "I… I've brought no matches."

While Maddie was face palming, Jack noticed something. "What's that?"

In response to Jack's question, Ford and Maddie saw a strange living mineral watching them with glowing eyes. Several more pairs of glowing eyes appeared later. "I believe we have discovered an entirely new classification of organism." Ford commented.

"We?" Jack asked in protest. "I saw them first!"

"We're here as a team, Jack." Ford argued. "But you get to choose the creature's name."

"I'll call it… the Fenton Light!" Jack declared.

"People might mistake them for the Fenton Flashlight, Jack." Ford suggested.

"Then you come up with a better name." Jack defied Ford.

"How about 'geodites'?" Ford suggested,

"Okay." Jack accepted and then took pictures with a camera.

"It's a good thing you both brought your flashlights or we'd have to gather the geodites in a pile and use their light to lead us out." Ford commented.

"Or we could simply bang two of them together to create a spark to reignite your lantern, Dr. Pines." Maddie replied.

They then left the cave. "It's no wonder Fiddleford McGucket is the inventive brains of the team-up between him and Stan Pines." Maddie commented to Jack as they went to Gravity Peak.

"Hey, what's this triangle-shaped constellation?" Maddie asked while pointing at a constellation which Ford called 'William'.

"Gravity Falls has a beautiful and strange constellation pattern, Maddie." Ford explained. After they called it a night, Ford took notes on his journal.

 **I now realize Jack Fenton is more like Fiddleford than I thought. He says he and his girlfriend Maddie plan to patent their inventions so they can afford to conduct their research without having to resort to sponsors (admittedly a reason I would have worked with Fiddleford's idea had I believed it) and start a family. It does sound like Fiddleford expect that he's not interested in the supernatural and initially expected to become an independent inventor but the only entrepreneur who believed his portable computers would sell was Stanley, who couldn't offer a good ideal that didn't include giving Fiddleford a big share of Stanco Enterprises (the rejections he received from already established organizations turned out to be a blessing in disguise) while Jack and Maddie already want to start their own company and probably would only sell patents until having the necessary startup money. I asked if they'd call it 'Fenton Enterprises' and Jack said he was thinking of calling it 'Fentonworks' but admits my idea sounds better. Am I fated to see people I get close to becoming millionaires while I stay anonymous? Well, for as long as Clampelter doesn't become rich…**

 **What am I saying? Or should I** **say** **write 'writing'? Of course I'll be rich and famous and the worst it could happen would be me resenting my brother for beating me to it in spite of it being partially my own fault for not believing the idea he invested on to become rich.**

After writing that note, Ford went to sleep.

 **End chapter.**


	6. The Journey Ends

**Chapter 6: The Journey Ends**

The next morning, Ford, Jack and Maddie were having Baron Num Nums High Flyin' Beans, which Ford remembered from his college days to be Fiddleford's favorite. As Ford wrote into his Journal, **Eats them even when he's not camping. Always feel like the face is staring at me.** Ford also wrote **Reminds me of camping with my brother. I wonder what he's up to…** and then he scribbled over it.

He woke to the sound of screaming, which he noted to be more common than we might think in Gravity Falls. It turned out Maddie was washing her face when she noticed something menacing standing behind her reflection in the creek. She turned around to give the intruder a taste of ninth dan karateka but it was gone by then.

Ford had a similar experience while surveying the camp and then noticed an old sign with a poem about a creature he knew from lumberjack lore: The Hide Behind. After Ford told his assistants about the legend, they were so creeped out by it they decided to leave. Ford told Maddie **to keep her hand mirror handy to look back just in case. I may return to this camp one day once the hairs on my neck finally stand down.**

Ford felt relieved to be out of the forest. The wild spinning of his compass told him they had reached their destination. However, he saw something very strange when they got there. They saw cows with weird spot patterns. **Is this a code? A language? Or some intergalactic teenager's idea of a prank?**

There was a nearby bucket of milk. In spite of the milk's low hum or Ford's warnings, Jack drank it. As he noticed Maddie face palming, Ford started wondering what she saw on Jack. Women really were the biggest of all mysteries as far as Ford could tell. Ford also wondered if a giant message could be revealed from arranging the cows together but decided it'd have to wait because they finally arrived at Crash Site Omega.

 **Crash Site Omega**

 **The site looked exactly the same as I had left it two years ago (referenced in Journal 2), with the ladder I had constructed leading down through the indefinite exhaust port.** Jack **was so excited when he saw it that he spit out the tainted milk.**

Maddie was just as amazed as Jack and Ford was relieved she had no liquids in her mouth.

 **We descended into the abyss together.**

 **What a pleasure it was to share one of my greatest discoveries with another brilliant mind!** And Jack Fenton wasn't all that bad as a person to share it with either. **As we journeyed through wreckage, I could see** my assistants **filled with the very same awe I felt when I first came upon the site.**

Ford was cautious to record too much about Crash Site Omega on any of his Journals because he feared it could be catastrophic if the wrong people discovered what was buried there. The last thing he wanted was a "Close Encounter" with the government.

Fortunately, with his assistants' mechanical know-how and Ford's own keen intuition, they were able at last to locate and extract…

 **The Hyperdrive**

 **We recovered the drive and stored it snuggly in** Jack **'s backpack. What a good feeling it was to complete our mission! Very soon our scientific ambitions will be fulfilled. My Muse was right. Sometimes all genius needs is a little help from** friends **.**

 **A New Path**

While going down the mountain with the hyperdrive, Ford, Jack and Maddie took a shortcut. During the journey, the found **a skeleton of a massive species of pterosaur, bigger than anything known to science.** Ford also noticed that **the bones appeared to not be fossilized.** Jack's child-like admiration in face of that discovery reminded Ford of himself

"Dr. Pines, should we be concerned that we might run afoul of a _living_ dinosaur?" Maddie asked in fear.

"No, I'm sure that, after all those years I've been doing my research in Gravity Falls, I'd have already found one if there were any." Ford answered.

As they continued down the mountain, Ford saw one of the rarest beasts in Gravity Falls and it was fast asleep in their path. "Uh, Dr. Pines, are we going to wait until the beast wakes up and leaves?" Maddie asked upon seeing Ford stopping to make notes on his Journal.

"No, I'm just stopping to take this rare opportunity to draw **The Gremloblin.** " Ford explained. "They're too rare."

"What about the Hyperdrive?" Jack asked.

"It can wait." Ford answered.

"Aren't you worried the Gremloblin will wake up?" Maddie asked.

"There's no need to worry." Ford replied. "I know from experience that they are incredibly heavy sleepers. In theory, even a novice could capture and cage one without it ever awakening from its hibernation."

"Can't we just take photographs and leave the sketching for later, Dr. Pines?" Maddie suggested.

"I don't trust the photo developing studios." Ford answered.

"I have one of those modern cameras made by your company, Dr. Pines." Maddie said as she showed her camera.

"My brother's company." Ford corrected her.

"Yeah." Maddie sarcastically replied. "Your _brother's_ company."

Frustrated, Ford showed his hands. "Do you see my extra fingers? Anyone who watched Stanley on TV knows he doesn't have them."

"Probably just a computer-generated special effect." Maddie dismissed the evidence. "After all, it's thanks to computers that Stanco Enterprises became a multi-million-dollar company."

The discussion was interrupted when the Hyperdrive mysteriously (Ford theorized it was a result of the altitude-based change in air pressure) activated and made a noise that made the Gremloblin wake up. It then grabbed Jack with his enormous claws and stared intensely into his eyes.

Hoping to startle the beast, Ford threw his canteen at him, splashing him with water. **A word of advice to future readers: when fighting a Gremloblin, use water…**

 **Page turn**

 **ONLY as a last resort, as water will make it much, MUCH scarier!**

On his mutated form, the Gremloblin took flight down the mountain with Jack in his grasp. Maddie quickly took Ford's magnet gun and ran after the creature. Realizing there was no other choice, she used her magnet gun to reach the Hyperdrive Jack and the Gremloblin were carrying. Upon reaching the creature, Maddie tried to hit it but it hit her first and she only didn't fall because she grabbed one of its feet. Enraged by this, Jack wrestled his way out of the Gremloblin's grasp and dominated the beast. They crashed through a barn roof and landed in a hayloft.

"Are you hurt, Mads?" Jack asked his girlfriend.

"I'm fine, Jack." She answered. "Thank you."

"Lucky you." Jack commented while pointing at the Gremloblin. "Let this teach you what happens when someone hurts the girlfriend of Jack Fenton!"

 **As I removed the Gremloblin's venomous quills from his pierced arm, Jack reported that looking at the Gremloblin's eyes gave him a vision of his worst nightmare. For scientific reference, I asked him to tell what it was and, after I explained to him I meant what his nightmare is and not what a nightmare is, he said he saw himself losing everyone he knows and loves to his desire to hunt ghosts. I am not certain if it's a magical power of the Gremloblin or just an emotional trauma but I'll take note just in case I run afoul of the beast again. I wonder what it'd make me see. Probably my research being stolen or my parents saying they love Stanley more than they love me.**

Ford quickly scribbled over the second theory.

Upon analyzing the Hyperdrive, Ford arrived at two conclusions: one good and one bad. The good one was that it survived the Gremloblin experience intact; and the bad one was that it required **highly radioactive materials to stay powered.** He decided to get the materials from a nearby government waste dump albeit he was worried that those barrels would be buried so close to town.

 **End chapter.**


	7. The Carnival

**Chapter 7: The Carnival**

While Jack and Maddie were resuming their studies, Ford was wondering how to get their minds off the recent Gremloblin event. While he was glad they took their studies seriously, he felt they needed a true day off. His wondering ended when he read in the newspaper that Mama Misfortune's Traveling Carnival and Freak Show was in town for the day. Being swindled enough as a kid on the boardwalk made him loathe nickel-grubbing circuses and sideshows, he'd learned that every so often there was something real.

Hoping to find new discoveries and provide a day of relaxation for his assistants, Ford invited them. Jack was ecstatic at the prospect of watching pig races. "It's so cool, Mads!" Jack commented. "Which pig should I bet on?"

"No one, Jack." Maddie answered. "Gambling is too risky."

"Okay." Jack sadly replied and she offered him a kettle corn to comfort him. She'd offer him a cookie but she wouldn't risk unknowingly breaking some no outside food policy.

 **My excitement turned out to be short-lived. The first "beast" I encountered at the fair was literally a chicken duct-taped to a silverback gorilla. A plaque called it the**

 **Gorr-Icken**

 **There was no explanation given for the wizard hat it wore –– merely a sign reading "Cash Only." Shockingly, the townsfolk** and Jack **seemed delighted, and I could barely get past the throng to the front of the line.**

"What do you think that would happen if the Gorr-Icken tried to sleep on the gorilla side's back, Dr. Pines?" Jack asked.

The surname 'Pines' attracted the townsfolk's attention. "Pines?" One of them asked. "Look!" Another person exclaimed while pointing at Ford. "That's Stan Pines, the TV millionaire!"

"No!" Jack quickly exclaimed. "That's his twin brother Dr. Stanford Pines!"

Jack was then recognized by a man he met at Dusk 2 Dawn back when he went there. "I remember you saying they merely had similar names. Why didn't you say back then they're twins?"

"I didn't know it back then." Jack explained.

"Okay."

"Dr. Pines, you need to get out more often." Jack commented. "Back when I first met this guy, he told me he was under the impression you had left town."

"Also, how come people are just now noticing you and Stanley Pines are _twins_?" Maddie asked while still not believing they're the same Stan.

"And you used your share of the family fortune on science instead of business?" Someone else asked.

"There's no family fortune." Ford explained. "My brother and I earned our achievements on skill." He couldn't believe he said that about Stan.

The townsfolk than started asking questions about Stan. **I couldn't stand the irony. After all those years fearing my extra fingers would turn me into a freak show's attraction, I became one for being Stanley's twin brother. Also, the townsfolk's acceptance of the fact I am Stanley's twin instead of being Stanley's himself is something Maddie sees as another reason to deem them gullible. Seeing how they fall for these circus fakes, she is right for the wrong reasons. Someone with no ethics could make money hand-over-fist in Gravity Falls!**

 **The Palm Reader**

Jack would have bet on a pig race but Maddie talked him out of it.

 **I noticed a "palm reader" and was galled to see how long the line was to this obvious charade. The dim intellect of the citizens of this town** and Jack Fenton **continues to astound. I pondered how gratifying it would be to publicly expose such a charlatan and realized that I had a rare opportunity.**

Assuming the palm reader had never seen a six-fingered hand like his before, Ford expected to stump her with his extra digit to make it easier to expose her as the fraud he believed her to be. Being such a rich and famous entrepreneur's twin brother, even if the locals knew Ford wasn't the entrepreneur himself, he was allowed to cut the line. Normally, he'd feel upset at riding on Stan's coattails but his desire to expose a fraud spoke louder. The palm reader was, in Ford's words, **a strange gnarled crone**. Upon sitting at her rickety table, Ford noticed a collection of severed hands in a cage but assumed the light was playing tricks on him.

Whatever Ford was expecting her to do, it certainly didn't include her grabbing his hands and saying, "What took you so long, Sixer?" He felt a chill run down his back and wondered how she could have known his childhood nickname. Before he could reply, she opened a pack of tarot cards and lined them up on the table. The results caused her to shriek and look at him with a great and pained sympathy. "Someone very close to you is deceiving you. You have chosen the wrong allies. You will live two lives and both of them too short… unless you change now." She told him and then handed a blue ring. Unless she meant how Jack seemed too incompetent to be a scientist or even a scientist's assistant, Ford had no clue to why she'd deem him a 'wrong' ally.

"When this is blue, you may pull through." She told him while pointing at the ring. "When this is black, you can't turn back."

"Will you please skip the rhymes and get to the palm reading?" Ford asked her. He already felt uncomfortable enough and was looking forward to getting out of there. With a sigh, she did as he asked.

She pointed at a line she described as a 'short relationships' one and said "No one wants to hold a rose with too many thorns." Ford never understood poetry. She also looked at a broken line. "You will have to make a choice very soon, Sixer." She warned him. "If you choose the wrong one, you will never be yourself again." **(Perfectly sane life advice from a lady who lives in a traveling wagon full of severed hands.)**

She then looked at his 'trigger finger' and said "You need to think before you shoot." Considering the marks on the finger, it was an easy guess. Afterwards, she looked at a long line she took as a sign of 'long wisdom'. "You are too smart for your own good." Ford took that as a compliment.

It was the last line that caught Ford's attention. "You will need those you left behind, Sixer! Without those from your past, you won't have a future!"

 **Could she be talking about my parents? My older brother Sherman? My friend Fiddleford? I don't see where I would need Stanley unless I run out of my grant money and don't accomplish anything to earn sponsorship from anyone else.**

"Your extra finger does indeed make you special, Sixer." She commented. "If you aren't doing anything later, maybe we could get some drinks." That clinched it for Ford, who decided to grab his things and leave under the impression her brain was damaged from fifty years breathing incense.

 **The Carny**

After leaving the tent, Ford found Jack and Maddie chatting with an odd young carny. The carny was little more than a teenager but his bald head had strange tattoos that reminded Ford of the long discredited scientific field of Phrenology. According to his name tag, the carny's name is Ivan Wexler. Ford took note of that on his journal but drew a picture of Ivan wearing a name tag that only reads "Ivan".

As Ivan told Jack and Maddie, he's the laughingstock of the carnival for the tattoos. **When he told the bullies to stop, they locked him in the "HAUNTED FREAK HOUSE" for an entire night, which had terrified him.**

"I wish I could forget the whole thing." Ivan said.

"Be careful what you wish for." Maddie advised him. "What if Desiree the ghost genie hears it?"

"Who?" Ivan asked. Jack and Maddie eagerly told him about the legend of the harem girl who was cast away by a sultan's jealous wife and, after dying, became a ghost who granted every wish she heard but always with a twist that made the wishers suffer. Ford took notes for future reference on ghosts. Ford also wrote about primitive charts used by the ancients to predict the future and how he deemed even that as **more advanced than "Palmistry."**

At the fair, Jack bought a squash with human face and emotions as a gift for Maddie. "Isn't it gourd-geous?" Jack eagerly asked.

"Yes, Jack." Maddie uneasily replied. Obviously, Jack missed the sarcasm.

"It reminds me of Dr. Pines and his twin." Jack commented.

 **(I suppose** we **did inherit** our **dad's nose)**

 **End chapter.**

 **Author's Note: Bvh, R gllp gsv 'irtsg uli gsv dilmt ivzhlmh' vckivhhrlm uiln GeGilkvh.**

 **Author's Note 2: Zn R gsv lmob lmv gl urmw rg lww Uliw dlfowm'g yv xlnkovgvob zxxfizgv dsrov wizdrmt Yormw Rezm'h mznv gzt?**


	8. A New Concern

**Chapter 8: A New Concern**

That morning, while Ford and his assistants were having ham sandwiches, Maddie brought up a troubling subject. "Dr. Pines, assuming we do open a portal, how do we contain whatever weirdness comes to our world from it?" She asked. "Ghosts are something Jack and I have some idea of how to handle but what about the other creatures?"

"True that, Mads." Jack agreed. "I don't want to be responsible for people being attacked by other Gremloblins."

Ford pondered things over and understood they'd need somewhere to place the weird creatures where they couldn't attack anybody or interfere with their research. "As much as I hate to delay construction of the portal, you are right. What do you propose we do?"

"A secret lab, perhaps?" Maddie reluctantly suggested.

"Yes!" Jack exclaimed. "No scientist can resist having a secret lair!"

"Don't we know it?" Ford caught himself asking. He was surprised that he showed that side of his personality. **Could this be a sign I'm completely accepting my assistants as fellow scientists?**

The three of them looked for a location for their hidden storage bunker and eventually settled for a spot under a massive and powerful tree deep in the forests behind Ford's cabin. The tree in question had a hollowed-out trunk, which made Ford consider it the perfect entrance for a secret hideout.

The excavation was so difficult Ford hired Boyish Dan to help. Maddie believed they needed more lumberjacks but Ford was reluctant to trust more people or to incur on the extra expense in spite of Maddie's insistence. **She must really believe I am Stanley or at the very least as wealthy as he is if she expects me to be easily able to hire a whole crew of lumberjacks. At least she understood my need for secrecy. Either way, this hidden bunker will be the perfect place to store any specimen too dangerous for the outside world (and to maybe play some D & D & More D, if time permits. It reminds me of the forts me and my brother used to build… when we dreamed of being adventurers.**

In spite of their devotion to the bunker's construction, Ford's assistants took the time to work on their own inventions. "Look at this, Dr. Pines." Jack said while proudly showing what seemed a cell phone slightly smaller than the latest Stanco brand cell phone put on the market. "It's ghost-proofed so ghosts cannot use it to reach us through phone lines like they do in cartoons. Would your brother be interested?"

"Jack, Stanley doesn't share our belief in ghosts." Ford commented. _'He might believe in the Jersey Devil ever since we actually saw it but ghosts and other supernatural creatures are a different matter.'_

 **My assistants are installing ghost-detecting alarms. It seems they had at some point entered a haunted manor and collected what they believe to be ectoplasm samples. I should ask for a sample but I'm afraid they'll suspect I have something to match it with.**

Ford's assistants decided they've gone underground enough when they found the mole man skeleton.

 **Author's Note: L'p vruub L frxogq'w pdnh wklv fkdswhu dqb orqjhu.**


	9. An Encounter

**Chapter 9: An Encounter**

After finishing the bunker, Ford told his assistants it was just a matter of time until they completed the portal. "We're almost there."

In spite of this, Ford insisted on trying to stay awake for longer than anyone should. He had Jack and Maddie drink several cups of coffee and listen to frenzied bluegrass just to keep them from sleeping. Jack actually enjoyed the music but Maddie grew tired (in both ways) of all of it. "Dr. Pines! People cannot spend a whole day without sleeping!" She said. "Your face already has a tired expression that won't help selling any Stanco products you advertise."

"For the last time." Ford threatened. "I! Am! Not! Stan _ley_! Pines! I am his twin brother!"

Maddie then grabbed Ford by the collar. "Dr. Pines, I'm too tired to put up with this twin tale. I will get my good night of sleep even if I'll have to knock you down into getting yours."

Jack wisely stayed quiet.

 **As impressive as** their **mechanical knowledge is,** they **sometimes frustrate me. I knew that if we needed to stay on schedule I would need to work at least another three hours. But as the minutes ticked by, I, too, began to feel fatigue's wretched powers pull on my eyelids.**

 **Pb Pxvh kdv zduqhg ph wkdw pb dvvlvwdqwv pdb qrw eh frpplwwhg wr wkh fdxvh. Kh wklqnv wkdw wkhb duh qrw erog hqrxjk wr iroorz wkurxjk. L zruub kh pljkw eh uljkw.**

Later on, Jack felt the need to wake up for a midnight snack. _'I hope Dr. Pines doesn't mind if I help myself to some fudge. And that he keeps fudge somewhere.'_ While looking at Ford's fridge, he found a ham. _'I thought he was Jewish. He celebrated Hanukkah instead of Christmas last year. Well, none of my business.'_

While he was eating the ham, he noticed Ford writing some calculations. "Couldn't sleep either, Dr. Pines?" He asked.

'Ford' turned around and noticed Jack staring at him. "YES. THAT'S JUST ME, STANFORD FILBRICK PINES. DOING CALCULATIONS LIKE A SCIENTIST."

Jack then saw 'Ford's' eyeballs and grew worried. "Yellow eyes? I thought lack of sleep made them red."

"YOU KNOW US SCIENTISTS." 'Ford' commented. "ALWAYS LEARNING NEW THINGS."

"True that, Dr. Pines." Jack agreed.

'Ford' then tried to drink coffee through his right eye and ended up burning himself. "OUCH!"

"Dr. Pines!" Jack exclaimed in horror. "You must be sleepier than I thought you're trying to drink through your eye."

"DON'T WORRY, JACK." 'Ford' reassured Jack. "NEXT MORNING YOU'LL FIND A FULLY RESTED STANFORD FILBRICK PINES."

"Ooooookay." Jack uneasily replied and went back to sleep. The next morning, Ford was somehow fully rested but reading with a monocle attached to his Journal 3. "The eye still sore from the coffee?" Jack asked.

"Coffee?" Ford asked in confusion.

"Yes, Dr. Pines." Jack answered. "Don't you remember trying to drink coffee through your eye or anything at all from our conversation last night?"

"Jack, what're you talking about?" Maddie asked. While Jack explained the details of his midnight snack experience, Ford updated his journal.

Upon Maddie's command, Jack suddenly grabbed their employer. "I'm sorry, Dr. Pines, but we have to check you for ectoplasmic residue." She said. "I'm afraid you've been overshadowed."

"Overshadowed?" Ford asked.

"It's how Maddie and I call it when a ghost possesses a person, Dr. Pines." Jack explained.

 **UPDATE:**

 **Contrary to what I originally assumed, the burning pain I experienced in my right eye was not a headache but my Muse tried to drink coffee through it. Now that I think about that, my Muse doesn't seem to have a visible mouth. That must explain his confusion. Unfortunately, my assistants assumed a ghost was possessing me or 'overshadowing' as they (my assistants) call it and forcefully insisted on searching me for signs of ectoplasm. They're still nicer than airport security staff.**

 **End chapter.**


	10. The Opening

**Chapter 10: The Opening**

After all the work they had, Ford and his assistants were ready to test their portal. "I've brought the test dummy." Maddie excitedly said.

"And I've brought the camera!" Jack added.

"Camera?" Ford asked in confusion.

"Of course, Dr. Pines." Jack said like it's obvious. "Even if I went there myself as I wanted to until Maddie vetoed the idea, the scientific community wouldn't take our word for what we see on the other side of the portal. They can be even more skeptic that Maddie with her refusal to believe you and Stanley Pines are twins instead of the same person."

"Point taken, Jack." Ford commented while mentally regretting not having thought about that himself. They then placed themselves behind the safety fence Maddie suggested placing on the line that indicated the minimum distance they had to keep from the portal (another thing Ford wished he had thought about) and activated the portal. The dummy and the camera were sucked into another dimension. A few minutes later, they brought it back and watched the video.

 **What I saw there horrified me to the point I briefly entertained the thought about inventing a memory-erasing device. The worst part was how my assistants reacted.**

"Are those monsters planning to take over _our_ world?" Maddie asked.

"Their pyramid-shaped leader sounds like Dr. Pines while overshadowed and that eye also reminds me of that occasion." Jack commented.

That made Maddie angrily glare at Ford. "Alright, Dr. Pines. Spill the beans and I'm not talking about you denying you're Stanley Pines."

Having no choice, Ford told Jack and Maddie about what he used to believe to be his "muse". "I thought he just wanted a genius to reach his potential."

"And you trusted something with your _body_?" Jack asked in horror. "I thought you were a genius."

"Was it this 'Cipher' creature that came up with the portable computer idea that made Fiddleford McGucket and _'your brother'_ rich?" Maddie asked.

"Fiddleford came up with the idea on his own." Ford indignantly answered. "He's too superstitious to trust the supernatural."

"A wise decision on his part." Maddie replied. "Another one is disassembling the portal so those monsters won't be able to come."

 **MY MUSE WAS A MONSTER**

 **It was all a lie. Bill Cipher wanted to take over our world. My assistants and I disassembled the portal but we still aren't safe from danger. He still can enter my mind 'until the end of time'. Out of fear he'll make me reassemble the portal, I've entrusted my assistants with keeping my third Journal until I find something at those caves that neutralizes Bill Cipher for good.**

"Dr. Pines, why don't we just destroy the journals or at least the entries about the portal?" Jack suggested as he and Maddie were about to enter his car.

"The Journals are the work of my life, Jack." Ford explained.

"No, Dr. Pines." Maddie disagreed. "Your shares of Stanco Enterprises are the work of your life."

"I am _NOT_ Stanley Pines." Ford replied with a frown. A red car then appeared. "Stanley, what are you doing here?" Ford asked.

"Mom was worried because you didn't send news for months, brother." Stan explained.

"I'll call her, Stanley." Ford replied.

"Hey, who are they and why is she staring at me like that?" Stan asked as he noticed Maddie's shocked look.

"They're my… former assistants and Maddie here is shocked because she used to think we were the same person instead of twins." Ford explained.

"Didn't the extra fingers clue her?" Stan asked.

"She thought it was a computer effect for your ads, Stanley." Ford replied.

"Who knows what the future reserves us." Stan commented.

"I certainly didn't expect personal computers to actually sell that much." Ford said.

"Mr. Pines, would you like to see my inventions?" Jack eagerly offered. Unfortunately, some of them were ghost-related and Stan was freaked out.

"Jack, I told you my brother doesn't believe in the supernatural." Ford told Jack.

"The Jersey Devil is one thing but ghosts are another matter." Stan added. "Nice to see you again, brother."

 **Skip to the road**

"Maddie, are we still going to open our ghost portal?" Jack asked.

"After we develop enough weapons to protect us, dear." Maddie answered to his joy.

 **THE END**


End file.
